Don't go...

"Sefirin Kizi" or "The Ambassador's daughter" is a Turkish series I've been watching for a while.

One of the characters "Elvan" has been extremely unlucky in life. She was orphaned as a child, got an arranged marriage, was falsely diagnosed as barren, got cheated on, got divorced and finally, abandoned by her best friend "Nare".

Consequently, Elvan lost trust in people except in her Abi (older ex brother-in-law) who’s always by her side, she built walls around herself, walls that nobody can dare to bring down without her permission.

She rented a shop to start her own business. Her shop neighbour, “Bora", fell for her. She keeps running away but somehow, he's able to bring her back every single time. He took her one evening to the beach. They sat down, had some wine, listened to authentic old Turkish music. Elvan got tipsy and expressed her fear of disappointment to Bora. Bora adjusted her shawl and said to her “But you haven’t left until now. Look, you’re still here by my side”. Elvan paused before she said, “I can’t go until someone tells me to go”. Bora said "Gitme" or "don't go"…

Many of us have been through several hardships in life that resulted in us building walls and walking away from people. We walk away due to fear of disappointment, fear of being misunderstood, fear of not being wanted, fear of history repeating itself. People with such fears want to hear the words "don't go" loud and clear. People with such fears want to be told they're wanted. People with such fears need the people surrounding them to be honest, to be direct, to be trusted worthy, to be patient, to make them feel wanted. Everyone needs to feel wanted. Likewise, they want to be assured that when they decide to stay, you will not walk away and leave them behind. Surprise, they also have a fear of abandonment.

People with trust issues were not born with them. Unfortunately, they were planted by people they've encountered through out their journey in life. Could be a family member, a friend or someone they truly cared for. Individuals with trust issues are so fragile and emotional, they need to be treated with care and sensitivity.

Look around you, make sure you understand the needs of your circle. Ensure they're treated the way they want to be treated. Try and understand their love language. They might be too proud and hurt to show what's going on inside of their heads. However, they just want to be assured to stay. They want to be told "don't go".

I am here to tell you don't go. You are wanted and loved even when you don't see it. Not everyone you meet is going to hurt you. Some may but others will not. Learn to trust again...little by little and be trust worthy. Treat people how they want to be treated and they will do the same for you.

Sandra Sobhy

March 5, 2021

Sefirin Kizi-Episode 42 #sefirinkizidil #giteme #guvenbana #gitme #elvan #bora