You Are Fearfully & Wonderfully made: Mental Health

I have teamed up on this topic with Catherine Masou -a provisional psychologist- in Calgary, AB (who also happens to be my best friend). She has been spreading awareness on mental health through her Instagram account @catcalmingcorner. When I asked her to write this with me she was extremely excited!

About a year ago, I watched a movie in theaters. Joker. The movie showed us a man struggling with his mental health, and the impact it had on his everyday living. Although a diagnostic term was never mentioned, it was clear that this man was living with a mental illness, a result from both genetics and environmental factors. He was abused by his mother’s ex-boyfriend and which resulted in a major impact on his upbringing. As he grew older, he was mistreated by his coworkers and strangers. Although the man was seeking treatment, many obstacles came in his way. He often told his psychiatrist that he felt like he was unnoticed or not heard by professionals in the field. Shortly into the film, she abruptly tells the man that this is the last session for him because the government cut their funding. She said “They don’t [care] about people like you, Arthur...and... they don’t really [care] about people like me either.”. Unfortunately, in today’s society, mental health is not prioritized, and similar to our character in the movie, many continue on without receiving the necessary help or treatment.

The movie received several positive reviews because of how it focused on mental illness and how it should be taken seriously. Others struggled with the concept of this movie, mentioning how dark it is and not recommended for sensitive individuals. When my family and I went to see it, half of my family was not able to sit through the entire movie. They could not comprehend how someone who is mentally ill could live like that or become so dark so quickly. They could not understand that mental illness could take someone that far. Joker mentioned how he needs to be heard, seen and loved. But are we hearing the voice of those who call out to us?

Mental Health. An extremely important crucial topic (also happens to be one of our favourites!). Why has all of a sudden mental health become such an important popular topic in the last few years?

Let’s start with the basics: What is Mental Health? Mental Health is a complex term. It refers to our wellbeing. It impacts how we think, feel and act in our surroundings. It is our ability to cope with stressful situations and make choices and interact with others. To put it simply, just as we have our physical health, we also have mental health or the health of our brain. Somedays our body has lots of energy, it feels strong and can accomplish 100 tasks. Other days, our body feels weak and tired and needs to rest. Our brain is the same: somedays our mood is up, we are thinking clearly, and others not so much. This is all normal! What affects our mental health? A number of factors: genetics, past experiences, our environment and even differences in our brain ( neurotransmitter). Just as we monitor our physical body for symptoms when we feel sick, we must also monitor our mental health. Am I losing interest in things I used to like? Am I feeling so anxious that it stops me from doing every day task? These are signs that our mental health needs extra care.

Recently, many Instagram accounts have been posting about taking care of one's mental health. Ensuring to spread awareness on self-care. Mental health has been the focus of so many social media accounts lately. Especially with the covid-19 pandemic, quarantine, the lockdown and the lack of social interactions.

Our understanding of mental health has made a huge turn around over the last 20 years, although this topic has been around for ages. Let's have a quick look at our mental health history. Dating back to 1900BC the Greeks and the ancient Egyptians once believed that abnormal behaviour in women such as anxiety, shortness of breath, insomnia and “tendency to cause trouble” was caused by a “wandering womb” or displacement of the uterus, a term known as Hysteria. Later on, Christians hugely impacted the medical field. Through the writings of St. Augustine it was understood that “incorrect” human behaviour was due to sin, therefore, many mental illnesses were seen as “satanic possession”. This resulted in many individuals with mental health illnesses being treated with prayers and exorcisms. In 1895, this “physical Illness” later was converted to a mental and emotional aspect, that sometimes our body will display unexplained symptoms that can be related to our emotions or past trauma.

This feels like a rollercoaster of a ride on our understanding of mental health. And it was only the beginning. Psychology has gone through 100 theories on development, mental illnesses and intervention. Even though we have made some amazing gains, this is only recent. There is still a huge stigma on the concept of mental health. Unfortunately many of our parents and grandparents were not raised with the same understanding of mental health as us. Add the layer of immigration, and the concept of mental health seems so foreign and misunderstood.

Mental Illness was taught to be a sign of weakness

Mental Illness was taught to be a lack of faith

Mental Illness was taught to be an excuse for not performing

And this way of thinking has been passed down from generation to generation. The results? People were scared to open up. When they did, their feelings weren’t validated so they went back to being quiet. They were told things like “just think positively” or “just pray about it” and people are still repeating this advice today.

Let me share with you my experience with people’s perception on mental health. I lived in Egypt most of my life. I grew up there. The concept of "mental health" does not exist. If you are seeing a therapist, a councilor, a psychologist, a psychiatrist,...etc, you are considered to be mentally unstable. They call you "crazy". That's what I grew up with. I always thought mental illness equals crazy.

I moved to Canada and I'm still involved with the Egyptian community through church. To my surprise (now that I know more), they do not think much differently about mental health...in Canada!. In fact, it could be worse.

If you are depressed, it is because you do not have God in your life.

If you are anxious, it is because you are separated from God.

If you are angry and upset, that's because your spiritual life is weak.

I could go on and on about the myths I hear on mental health.

If you ask where these facts are coming from, you'd rarely find an answer.

I am not going to lecture on the importance of working on your spiritual life. I am going to lecture on the fact that we are degrading our friends' feelings, our children's feelings, our parents' feelings...etc when they tell us they are mentally exhausted.

Some of the sentences I've personally heard being said to people I know

" You are only 12 years old. What could possibly be depressing you?! You have no responsibility besides doing well in school"

“You just need to focus and work harder. You are too hyper” (said to a kid with ADHD)

"Psychology is not a real thing. Being a Psychologist is not a real job"

"How is the Psychologist going to help you stop eating? You just need to sew your mouth shut" (it was said to a person with a binge eating disorder)

"You are depressed and upset? You just need to pray more" "pray harder"”

"You don't have God in your heart and that is why you are never happy"

“You will not enter the kingdom of heaven if you kill yourself. Speak with a priest”

You cannot absolutely pray the depression, the self-harm, the anxiety, or any kind of mental illness away. Just like you cannot pray the cancer away. You can pray about it just like you'd pray for the healing of any physically sick person and pray for a miracle.

When someone becomes physically sick or ill, they go see a physician or if they are severely ill they visit the ER. The doctor makes a diagnosis and proceeds with a course of treatment. The sick person takes the treatment. They do not reject the treatment, pray about it and hope for the best. Their sickness will only get worse and worse if not treated.

Your mental health must be treated the same way as your physical health. You visit the Psychologist or the psychiatrist, you receive a diagnosis and you start a course of treatment. You pray about it and ask God to help you through it and to heal you. If He does, it's a miracle.

Undermining someone's feelings is the worst thing you could do.

If someone confides in you and tells you they're depressed, your answer should be an attempt to help them. Saying "it's okay we're all depressed"- No.

If we just take a moment and stop generalizing everyone's feelings. “We're all depressed”, “we're all anxious”, “yes I can't sleep as well I'm exhausted”. These may sound like a normal day to someone but to the other they are suffering on a much deeper level.

I had recently taken a big decision. A huge decision (will share it soon!).

The day I took that decision and it started to feel real to me, I became anxious. I have never experienced anxiety on that level. Never. Chest pains, lack of sleep, crying, difficulty breathing, shakiness and headaches.

Do not tell me this is because of my spiritual life. Do not tell me these symptoms are due to the absence of God in my life.

Seeing a psychologist is not a sin

Taking medication or antidepressants is not a sin

Admitting you have a mental illness, and you seeking help is a strength

We are the generation to break this cycle and break the stigma. The first step in change is awareness and understanding. Emphasizing the normality in asking for help when we are struggling mentally is the second step. I know, this sounds extremely uncomfortable! We were always taught to keep things private and “deal with it". However, this is simply putting a band-aid over the wound. It covers it up temporarily but the wound doesn’t heal, it gets bigger and deeper. It can get infected if not rightly treated. Getting help is an important aspect of mental health and we need to remove the stigma around it. Reaching out is important, feeling heard and validated is important! The previous generations were limited in addressing mental health as their knowledge of mental health was limited. But us, we have the knowledge, we have the understanding, and with this comes powers. The power to speak up for those who can’t, the power to talk about topics that are uncomfortable, and the power to break a cycle of unhealthy silence and feeling alone. You aren’t alone. We stand together in this battle.

Catherine Masou & Sandra Sobhy

@catcalmingcorner & @parofyourworld__ss

January 7, 2020