New Normal...

2020...What a year! Has it ended? It has!…Technically we’re in the 6th month of 2021. Honestly though, it has not been any different to me. Today is the same as yesterday same as the day before…well almost. We are looking forward to the end of all this. The day when we can finally be set free from this imprisonment. The day when we can finally hug each other, see each other, have large gatherings to celebrate the good times and to be there for one another during bad times. The day we can go back to normal. But how normal is it going to be? Will the friends who we haven’t seen in months be still waiting for us? Will the friends who we have lost contact with, be willing to reconnect? Will they forgive us for being exhausted physically and mentally resulting in being out of touch from this world? It takes a lot of effort to stay connected long-distance, phoning and texting over the phone with close ones; imagine how hard it must be with people you’re acquainted with or met a few times or basically anybody outside your closed small circle of family and friends. You might have lost some people on the way but have found yourself. You might have gained new acquaintances but will never let them cross that line.

I am scared to go back to the old normal. The old normal where we get busy with everything and everyone and forget about ourselves. The old normal with being a people pleaser and the inability to standup for oneself. The old normal trying to keep everyone happy, staying in touch with everyone and all the time. The old normal where we exhaust all our energy for everyone except for ourselves. To go back to the same struggles, the same exhaustion and the same mentality from before the pandemic...like nothing has ever changed.

This pandemic taught each and every one of us so many things. I have learned to stand up for myself and for what I believe is right, I have learned to say no, I have learned to let go what drains me and hold on to what’s worth holding on to; to set boundaries where appropriate and where needed. To ensure there is time to take care of myself and to protect myself.

We’ll go back to normal, but it won’t be the normal we know. It will be the normal we want to set for ourselves. If we go back to how it was before March 5, 2020; then the past 460 days were a waste. We're almost back to normal...but are we?

Sandra Sobhy June 8, 2021